1. If you don’t like the way he kisses you, you won’t like the way he fucks you. Get up and leave.
2. If he won’t go down on you, but expects you to go down on him, laugh. Get up and leave.
3. If you don’t want to do something and he doesn’t respect that, slap him round the face. Get up and leave.
4. If he isn’t okay with the imperfections on your skin, if he says they turn him off, get up and leave.
5. If you don’t want to shave your legs and he thinks that’s disgusting and refuses to touch them, get up and leave.
6. If he doesn’t see your body as a masterpiece, as a complete work of art, get up and leave.
7. If he makes you feel uncomfortable about any part of your body, get up and leave.
Charlie Sheen smokes crack live in a web-chat and they make him the highest paid actor on television.
An 18-year-old black person smokes a blunt and he is unfit to live.
I see you white power.
Comedian Greg Blackshear (via sonofbaldwin)
Not to mention Rob Ford still being allowed to hold office after admitting to a crack addiction and alcoholism, tackling a representative, etc.
…It is the story of a man with a shit-eating grin and a monumental sense of entitlement calling the police on a stripper who denied him sex in a VIP room in the appropriately named city of Butte, Montana. To recap, this man believed that the denial of sex from a stripper was not only a criminal offense but a criminal offense worth escalating to involvement with law enforcement. The sense of entitlement to sexual services beyond the ones on the official job descriptions are ones to which strippers are subjected regularly. While it is newsworthy because the guy actually called the cops, strippers know that boundary-pushing clients are part and parcel of the sexual and emotional labor of stripping.
For those that do not provide extras, such expectations mean being in a permanent state of feigned-friendly negotiations to continue earning from the client but having your boundaries pushed, often to the point of feeling endangered. For those that do provide extras, there is the expectation that you must provide them to any client under any circumstances. Yet, strippers who do provide extra services selectively offer them to regulars or at specific price points. As a firm believer in the “you do you” model of having zero expectations from my fellow workers about how they conduct their business, I still hope for a work environment in which everyone’s boundaries are respected by clients.
„,I am someone who has worked in different sectors of the sex industry and I’ve found stripping to be the most emotionally and physically taxing, the sector in which I’ve been subject to the most degrading language and boundary pushing. I know that strippers have something of a Regina George reputation among sex workers as many deny they are sex workers at all, considering themselves above the designation. Some strippers have been unkind trolls to Belle Knox and other porn performers on Twitter. Strippers are also arguably among the most likely type of sex worker to be denied the label by our clientele, mostly because strip club customers don’t want to have to identify as clients and they can deny that status more easily if we aren’t identifying as sex workers. But the expectation of explicitly sexual services is absolutely built into the idea of the VIP room, and it means that negotiating and/or denying various forms of sexual labor is part of the job.
Lane Champagne explaining why stripping isn’t training-wheels sex work in “Man Calls Cops On Stripper That Won’t Screw Him: Stripping Isn’t Sex Work Lite" at Tits and Sass today (via marginalutilite)
Aw man, i had a customer threaten to sue me once! For not giving him a BJ/HJ…during a lapdance! (For the record i only make $20-$30/dance). Like, we didn’t even do a VIP room or anything! He was flappin his gums about how he’s got the “best lawyer in town” & “it’s not about the money it’s the principle of it” (yeh right buddy that’s why yr cryin over $30-$40?).
And I’m like “Oh yes PLEASE sue me, PLEASE get the State involved in this matter of you attempting to solicit illegal sexual services inside a legitimate business. See how well that’s gonna work out for you…”
The problem is that white people see racism as conscious hate, when racism is bigger than that. Racism is a complex system of social and political levers and pulleys set up generations ago to continue working on the behalf of whites at other people’s expense, whether whites know/like it or not. Racism is an insidious cultural disease. It is so insidious that it doesn’t care if you are a white person who likes black people; it’s still going to find a way to infect how you deal with people who don’t look like you. Yes, racism looks like hate, but hate is just one manifestation. Privilege is another. Access is another. Ignorance is another. Apathy is another. And so on. So while I agree with people who say no one is born racist, it remains a powerful system that we’re immediately born into. It’s like being born into air: you take it in as soon as you breathe. It’s not a cold that you can get over. There is no anti-racist certification class. It’s a set of socioeconomic traps and cultural values that are fired up every time we interact with the world. It is a thing you have to keep scooping out of the boat of your life to keep from drowning in it. I know it’s hard work, but it’s the price you pay for owning everything.
Scott Woods (X)
he motherfucking dropped the truth.
THAT’S THE PRICE YOU PAY FOR OWNING EVERYTHING
this is a super important explanation to think about whenever you feel like telling someone that something isn’t racist because you don’t hate x person.
I probably reblogged in the past, but here it is again in that case.
In the 1890s, when Freud was in the dawn of his career, he was struck by how many of his female patients were revealing childhood [sexual] victimization to him. Freud concluded that child sexual abuse was one of the major causes of emotional disturbances in adult women and wrote a brilliant and humane paper called “The Aetiology of Hysteria.” However, rather than receiving acclaim from his colleagues for his ground-breaking insights, Freud met with scorn. He was ridiculed for believing that men of excellent reputation (most of his patients came from upstanding homes) could be perpetrators of incest.
Within a few years, Freud buckled under this heavy pressure and recanted his conclusions. In their place he proposed the “Oedipus complex,” which became the foundation of modern psychology… Freud used this construct to conclude that the episodes of abuse his clients had revealed to him had never taken place; they were simply fantasies of events the women had wished for… This construct started a hundred-year history in the mental health field of blaming victims for the abuse perpetrated on them and outright discrediting of women’s and children’s reports of mistreatment by men.
Notice the people who are happy for your happiness, and sad for your sadness. They’re the ones who deserve special places in your heart.
If you think women are crazy you’ve never had a dude go from hitting on you to literally threatening to kill you in the time it takes you to say “no thanks.”
Because we don’t speak about sex, there is no socially acceptable language surrounding it. So the language of porn has jumped in to fill that space, and that’s an issue, because in a male-dominated industry the language of porn is all too often male-generated. The person who coined the term “finger blasting” didn’t have a vagina. The person who coined the term, “getting your ass railed” never got their ass railed. Pounding, hammering, banging… And language matters, because when the only language you have available is abusive and one-directional, in terms of having things done to you, it creates a very weird view of how sex works.
Porn Is Dead, Long Live Sex | VICE United States (via sinshine)
"beat the pussy up"
"tear that ass up"
"smashed that shit"
Porn has created a fucked up mindset and you cannot tell me it hasn’t
It’s not okay when you see nothing but
"MONSTER DICK DESTROYS TEEN PUSSY"
"SLUTS POUNDED FOR HOURS"
There is no intimacy. There is no sensitivity
Just the vagina as a masturbation toy for the penis to use.
Not two or more human beings coming together and actually ENJOYING themselves.
Our goal should be to live life in radical amazement… get up in the morning and look at the world in a way that takes nothing for granted. Everything is phenomenal; everything is incredible; never treat life casually. To be spiritual is to be amazed.
Oh—you wouldn’t date a girl who’s ever been a stripper?
In that case, I wouldn’t date a guy who’s ever been to a strip club.
Oh—you wouldn’t date a girl who’s ever done porn?
In that case, I wouldn’t date a guy who’s ever watched porn.
You’re the reason we exist.
You’re the demand to our supply.
If you disdain sex workers, don’t you dare consume our labor.
As they say in the industry, “People jack off with the left hand and point with the right.”
For almost 18 years you’re taught to sit down, shut up, and raise your hand. Then you have to decide what you’re going to do for the rest of your life.
Fat people have the right to exist in fat bodies regardless of how we got fat, what being fat means, or if we could be thin through some means – however easy or difficult. There are no other valid opinions on this – we have the right to exist without shaming, bullying or stigmatization, period.
Ragen Chastain -
I know we’ve reblogged this before, but we’ve been seeing a lot of “no but doctors are SUPPOSED to shame fatties/everybody SHOULD be mean to fatties, how else are fatties going to get thin” bullshit lately, so I thought I’d bring it back.
Hating on Fat People Just Makes Them Fatter
The article ignores the well-established fact that repeated efforts to lose weight lead to yo-yoing and long-term weight gain, but it does document that fat people who experience fat discrimination tend to stay fat or get fatter over time, not to lose weight.
What men mean when they talk about their “crazy” ex-girlfriend is often that she was someone who cried a lot, or texted too often, or had an eating disorder, or wanted too much/too little sex, or generally felt anything beyond the realm of emotionally undemanding agreement. That does not make these women crazy. That makes those women human beings, who have flaws, and emotional weak spots. However, deciding that any behavior that he does not like must be insane– well, that does make a man a jerk.
And when men do this on a regular basis, remember that, if you are a woman, you are not the exception. You are not so cool and fabulous and levelheaded that they will totally get where you are coming from when you show emotions other than “pleasant agreement.”
When men say “most women are crazy, but not you, you’re so cool” the subtext is not, “I love you, be the mother to my children.” The subtext is “do not step out of line, here.” If you get close enough to the men who say things like this, eventually, you will do something that they do not find pleasant. They will decide you are crazy, because this is something they have already decided about women in general.
When I loved myself enough, I began leaving whatever wasn’t healthy. This meant people, jobs, my own beliefs and habits – anything that kept me small. My judgment called it disloyal. Now I see it as self-loving.
I’ll leave you with this tidbit. 73% of all female characters in the 100 highest grossing films of 2013 were Caucasian, 14% were African American, 5% were Latina, 3% were Asian, and another 3% were aliens or fantasy races. Yes. In 2013, American theater audiences were about as likely to see a woman of an animal species or completely made up race as they were to see an Asian woman.