(…) i just don’t know what to do. in the moment i basically shut down bc i’m bored or uncomfortable or something and it makes him feel ugly which is the last thing i want. it’s becoming a big strain on us. i almost feel like i need to finally have sex w him for solely to “help” him/fix it which i know is wrong. i just dk what to do he’s so important and moved across the country to be with me. it makes me feel horrible that i can’t get into it, and makes me sad that i can’t be like people who do.
i don’t have like A LOT to offer on this one simply for the fact that i’ve never been in your shoes, but i do want to say—everyone’s relationship with sex is different y’know! like, you might just not be that super interested in sex, period, and that’s okie dokie (nothing is wrong with you!). maybe one way to determine if that’s the case is to try and imagine yourself with other attractive people…can you see yourself more rarin’ to go with them instead?? or no not rly?
also being “in love” isn’t necessarily defined by how much y’all wanna fuck. like that can be a big part of some relationships, but it isn’t for all of them. or sometimes it is a big part of a relationship, then sometimes it isn’t.
ANYWAY, you saying “he’s so important”, “dying to want him”, “love my boyf as a person”, leads me to believe that you do in fact have legitimate feelings for him and you’re just doubting these feelings because of your lack of interest in sex. BUT “moved across the country to be with me” makes me worried that you might feel like you owe him your heart (but i don’t know you and i don’t know your life, remember!!!) which is why i must urge you to look within yourself and explore your feelings. Go inside and establish whether or not sex is important to you in general. if it isn’t, take it the FRIG out of the equation when exploring your feelings for ur dude. ask yourself the questions that are important to ****YOU!***** Do you love his company? Is his personality gr8? Does he lift you up and make you feel supported? Is his laugh so intoxicating it makes you so goddamn happy to be alive and exist at the same time as his stupid wonderful laugh???? babycakes figure out what your own personal version of “in love” is, and it’ll be easier to know whether or not that’s what you are <333
p.s. if you happen to figure some stuff out, subsequently leading to having to figure MORE stuff out (which tends to be how life goes), i’m still here if you need to talk about it ok sweetpea? wishing the best for you <3 <3 <3
aww hey thanks!!
i eat everything atm, but like…i don’t rly go *out of my way* to buy meat?? my groceries are all vegetarian as of right now. i still find eating meat can make me feel really nauseous (which is what started me on becoming veggie in the first place)
when it’s in me again to do so, i’ll probably reassess my diet. my guess is i’ll either go back to being pesc or veg. i’m just a little hesitant about going full on vegan again, because i was super prone to UTIs when i was vegan and had to take all these precautions to avoid them (which sometimes still didn’t even work) and ever since i backslid, they..haven’t…come back??? that makes me feel like something was definitely off in my body, as nutritious as i thought i was eating. SO. idk i just don’t want to attempt going that strict again unless i have the time and $$ to spend on blood/nutrition tests
being reunited with my crystals (!!!!), getting them unpacked and placed around the new house
getting back to work (same employer, new job)
tackling my own creative projects
going to canada’s wonderland halloween haunt for tha first TIME EVARRRR
(this was a super fun question, thank u!)
dunno and dunno! i’ll probably drag him to a patio and/or to the downtown market ;3
not wanting to be with someone forever isn’t a wrong thing, but does he know you don’t want to be with him forever? cuz if he doesn’t, there’s a pretty good chance he (at least thinks) he wants to be with you forever, and he believes you do too
like if eddie finally told me out of the blue after years of a committed relationship “Yeah well i thought we’d be together for like 5 years but i didn’t want to stay with you forever”
i’d feel pretty effing fucked over
you don’t necessarily need to break up with him but out of respect you rly should communicate your intentions with him. who knows, maybe he’s on the same page as you—but if he isn’t it wouldn’t be very awesome to let him assume/believe you’re both working on forevering it
yeah I work at a privately owned shop. there’s no website that you can order from, though she does ship product (not sure if it’s worldwide, but at least to the states) for long distance customers. but for smaller tumbled crystals, i’m not too sure? because it’s not like we can take a picture of every single tumble we have…but if a customer asks to see, for example, what we have in smokey quartz spheres, we can take a picture of each of those to email to the customer. heads up though larger items, depending on the stone & quality, can be upwards of $30-50. if you’re seriously interested in making a purchase like that, do let me know and I can speak to the owner! :)
if i could give any advice it would be to learn how to love your own company. the more you bond and develop a loving relationship with yourself, the easier it will be. that doesn’t mean never seek out the company of others, human company can be awesome and super beneficial for all parties involved, but you weren’t born attached at the hip with anyone, so might as well learn how to be excited to spend time with yourself :)
hope that helps love, wishing you all good things during this tough time <3 <3
Basically we just tried to make interaction as regular as possible! Texting, phone calls, skyping, whatever you can do. And in the meantime, take the opportunity to nurture your relationship with yourself! It’s actually a wonderful opportunity considering that can be a hard thing to do when you’re spending so much time with your partner. It’s a great time to bond with your beautiful fabulous self bb love <3 <3 <3
the media IS being blamed. but guess who controls the media; white people.
and yeah white people as a group deserve to have their white supremacist bullshit ways waved angrily in their faces because we are in power + we are ignorant as fuck and our ignorance as the race in power hurts other non-white humans. white men are shooting black children (x) (x) (x) for fucking nothing. for nothing.
make white people aware of the wrong they inflict on other humans, by their passive violence, direct violence, by their ingrained racism, by their apathy, by their programmed thinking to see POC as subhuman. generalize and sensationalize every fucking day if that’s what it takes. burn every remaining plantation to the goddamn ground and televise the infernos worldwide. make iggy azalea watch the most gruesome heart-wrenching scenes of “12 Years A Slave” everyday for the rest of her life for calling herself a fucking “slave master”. make white people sick with themselves. make our programmed white supremacy so appalling to us that we spend the rest of our lives digging it out of our brains and the brains of white people around us. make us uncomfortable. make us cry. make us change as quickly as possible. the sooner we do, the sooner the safety of our babies will all be regarded as of equal importance.
i have a lot! coconut, lilac, fresh mown grass, dewy summer mornings, wet foliage, burning sweetgrass, lumber, new books (to name a few)
aw don’t feel creepy!!! ヾ(´︶`♡)ﾉ