Anonymous: hiya farrah, could you tell me about your experience with anti-depressants and how they are for you like a before/after sorta thing? i've been thinking about going to my doctor to discuss being put on them to manage myself a bit better, but sometimes i don't think i need them and i just need to suck it up and continue with therapy but idk if therapy is working 4 me. did you ever do therapy as well? sorry to seem intrusive, i really don't mean to pry just asking for advice tbh. ty XX
before i was taking antidepressants i thought my anxiety wasn’t deserving of treatment. i’d kind of always been lead to believe that i was a wimp/princess/crybaby (which yeah i totally am in some respects) and therefore convinced myself that my suffering was probably in actuality v mild, and i just had to toughen up/live with it
after i saw the change the medication made in my day-to-day, i realized that regardless of how “mild” my anxiety might’ve been in comparison to more severe cases, the fact of the matter is it WAS STILL a disorder and it did limit my quality of life significantly
i missed taking my med last night (for the first time ever since i started taking them) and this morning while in a very comfortable, pleasant, safe situation my old symptoms creeped back. because i understood what was happening, i was trying my best to “will” myself into relaxing and breathing, but as it had always been, even if i relaxed my body, in two seconds i’d be squeezing whatever i was holding, every muscle tensed up, repeatedly taking huge deep sighing breaths every few seconds because it’s like i would basically forget to breathe in between them, nausea, tension headache. and the familiarity of the entire thing just fucking hit me and I realized that oh my god this used to be my normality and i’m so thankful that the key words there are “used to”. i don’t ever want to go back to that. i feel so much more in control of myself now, endless situations that used to fuck me right up, i now find myself feeling extremely confident in or at the very least unphased. I didn’t even realize how scared i was of these situations, how much i worried, or how noisy and chaotic my thoughts really were, until i started taking antidepressants.
the doctor recommended therapy and this place was supposed to call me, but never did, and honestly checking in with them kept slipping my mind because i felt so good and stable that my brain kinda went “meh..not important”
but yeah just to be clear, when i answer these questions and talk about my experiences with anxiety & antidepressants i’m not trying to convince everyone that OMG THERAPY PFFFT SO LAME, GET ON THESE DRUGS. not everyone is going to respond the same way to the same treatment, know what i’m sayin? i’m simply sharing **my** personal experiences in hopes that this option of treatment doesn’t seem as intimidating to others who haven’t tried it yet, but think they might want to give it a shot.
also <3 <3 <3 YOU ARE NOT INTRUSIVE AT ALL <3 <3 <3 and i hope you find a method of treatment for your anxiety that works well for you!